Conquering Holli's Mind Games

Sometimes, I find myself wondering what the point is. What’s the point of going to grad school fulltime? Will something come of all this toil and effort? I’m not sure, and the unknown is a scary place.

As of a week ago, I just finished my first year of Divinity School at Campbell. I finally got a better job after a year of working at places like Food Lion and Domino’s Pizza. I am dating the person who I’m 99.99% sure I will be spending the rest of my life with (and that’s a pretty high percentage). The point is, there are good things happening in my life.

What I find curious is that the tangible, logical facts and events do not replace the feelings that I have inside. The unknown has the potential to be destructive and numbing.

When the years of studying and effort are finished, I will have two Masters Degrees: one in Divinity and one in Counseling. Hopefully, I will be able to find a job. The time between those events and now is a season of preparation. I must remind myself that this is a temporary season.

The moral of this tiny rant is this: I must be at peace with the stage of life I am in, and I must fully be present in it. Why? Because otherwise, fear of the unknown future could steal the joy and fullness away from my present; it could consume my mind and leave me in a constant state of zoned out doom.

I wanted to share my head issues with anyone who may want to read about them. Hopefully, we can all link arms and help each other through the unknowns of life and the future.  Let's avoid a major face-palm.