When Wal*Mart causes depression

I'm back in America. It's officially been one week. I've noticed a whole lot of things that I never used to notice before. I know that I am an American. But let's put it this way… Imagine for a second that all Americans are squares. And all the people where I was serving are circles. Then you have me. I was a square, but when I moved away, I started to lose (painfully lose) my corners and edges a little bit. Now? I'm some strange octagon. Not really a square, not really a circle. It feels pretty weird.

Holli is an…. 

So, Wal*Mart is a bit overwhelming. I go inside and cannot buy more than a handful of things.  Hearing super fast English all the time is overwhelming. What did you say? Come again? 

Everyone is moving so fast! Why are you guys so busy? Let's go plant rice and take a nap at our fruit stand. Church is really nice and formal. I can understand everything that everyone says (and sometimes I'd rather be in the dark for some conversations). There are no pot-holes in the roads. The dirt here is dark brown instead of reddish orange. American food is now bland to me. Yeah, I do feel like an alien. Things aren't better or worse here. Things are just different. I can take a shower for days. The water would still be hot. The water would still be ON! It's kinda nuts. 

I've enjoyed seeing friends and family so far. I still get a little blinded in my mind over how to answer: "How was it?" Oh! And I don't know how to respond to: "I bet you're glad to be back." It was a whole lot of things cuz it was 2 years. Was it good? Yes. Challenging? Yes. Did I grow? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes. Hard times? Yes. Difficult? Yes. An entire rainbow full of answers for that question. And yes, I am glad to see people. I'm not necessarily glad to be back. I miss the land that became my home. I miss the people who became my second family.Maybe I could take all the people I love in America back to Asia with me. That's a nice compromise. Who's in? 

To all my peeps here in the USA, sorry if I'm weird, socially awkward, or can't seem to find the right words to say at the moment. Bare with me. I'm sure things will get better with time. 

-Octagon Life